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“That’s because he died in his sleep.” explained Mrs Murphy, “and he doesn’t know he’s dead yet, but when he wakes up, the shock will kill him!”“Your glass is empty O’Flaherty, will you be having another?”“And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?” replied O’Flaherty.Murphy arrived home late from the pub, well oiled and ready for trouble.“Is that you Murphy?” called his wife.“Byjasis! It damned well better be!”Two tough union men were working on a building site when Murphy fell from the second floor scaffolding.“Are ya dead?” cried Gallagher from above.“To be sure I am,” replied Murphy.“You are such a liar Murphy that I don’t know whether to believe you or not!” called Gallagher.“That proves I’m dead,” said Murphy’s voice from the rubble below, “because if I was alive you wouldn’t be game to call me a liar!”Paddy and Shamus were hitchhiking.“It’s best if we split up,” said Paddy. “I will meet you in the next city under the town hall clock”.Later that night Shamus was waiting at. She deliberately leaned against him. "Mind if I join you?" It's just a game." He gestured toward the TV.She rubbed her head up and down his shoulder. "Kinda boring, isn't it?"He shrugged. "All depends on what interests you." You interest me. Can I ask you something?"He looked at her. "Sure." Did you ever think - I mean, do you think I'm pretty?" Sure, hon. Very." Do you think I'm sexy?"He looked at her. "Well, yes. Absolutely." How come you never made a pass at me?" Well, that's just not the thing a father does. I mean, I wouldn't want you to hate me for it. I wouldn't want you to reject me." But what if I wanted you to? Or what if I made a pass at you? What would you do?"He tried to chuckle, but stopped instantly when Tess threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. She kissed him passionately, fervently.She pulled her lips off his and their eyes locked. He reached up and grabbed her wrists."Honey," he said, his voice quaking. "That was more than just a daughterly.
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